Surly Pirates

I told a stab at getting my feet wet as a picker at a flea market in Jackson, Michigan. Two items caught my eye and struck my fancy. My first official purchase as a collector is a department store mannequin bust from sometime in the 1980's. As soon as I brought her home, she spared no time getting drunk off imaginary moonshine. I stumbled upon a "brown jug" at the flea market that is similar enough to the logo for Ann Arbor's campus drinking hole and restaurant The Brown Jug (named after the University of Michigan's football rivalry with the University of Minnesota).

You Named Your Kid What? - Top Ten Funniest Names I've Ever Heard

2011-02-27T14:27:00.001-08:00

10 Facebook Jamal Ibrahim

An Egyptian couple paid tribute to Facebook’s role in the county’s recent revolution in a big way. They named their daughter after the website. Here is ABC’s report for your viewing pleasure.

9 Shanda Lear

William Powell Lear is famous for three things. He founded Lear Jets, helped invent the 8-track, and named one of his children Shanda. Someone first mentioned this funny name to me when I was a kid, but they told me it was Chrysta Shanda Lear. I’ve spent most of my life thinking Bill had basically named his daughter crystal chandelier. Wikipedia only confirms the chandelier part.

8 Joe Louis Arena

According to urban baby naming legend, a couple of Red Wings hockey fans named their son Joe Louis Arena, after the Detroit, Michigan hockey arena. I have always been told that the couple is from Detroit, however I also found a few mentions of Toledo, Ohio during a quick google search.

7 Sandy Beach

Sandy Beach is probably the most acceptable baby name on this list. At least it makes me imagine a peaceful landscape. A few baby boomers I know remember going to school with this U.S. General’s daughter.

6 Cokely Dick (a.k.a Coke)

I was almost too young to remember Coke Dick, an older brother of a girl I went to school with. However, his name will be forever imprinted on my brain.

5 Ocean, Audio Science & Moxie Crimefighter

Actors name their kids weird things. I admit that Ocean isn't a totally horrible name, Forest Whitaker. Actress Shannyn Sossamon, girl, I'm not sure that Audio Science was the best choice. Maybe a rockband, never a child. Penn Jillette, I dig your unique magical stylings, but Crimefighter!? Really?

4 Pilot Inspektor

I’m no gossip queen, but do you know that actor Jason Lee named his kid Pilot Inspektor? This celebrity baby name deserves its very own spot in the top ten.

3 Dr. Fear, Dr. Slaughter & Dr. Cutov

Three doctors who have either treated me or family members all provide excellent medical care. However, they have super unfortunate doctor names. The oral surgeon who pulled my wisdom teeth is Dr. Fear. He is one of the most non-threatening people I've ever met. Two surgeons my family members have encountered are Dr. Slaughter and Dr. Cutov. Personally, I commend all of these docs for joining their professions despite their names.

2 Twins James & Laurinaitus

A friend of mine knows a set of twins named James and Laurinaitus, after the football player James Laurinaitus (St. Louis Rams and Ohio State University). Someone got the raw end of the deal! I hope his nickname is Larry.

1 April May Lajune

A couple of family members went to school with an April May Lajune. I think each of these three months make decent baby girl names, but all three of them together is overkill.

The Ethics of Swearing Online

2011-02-16T17:43:00.000-08:00

F*ck I don't know whether or not swearing online is OK! How bad is swearing, really?

The reason I'm questioning the ethics of online swearing is because I keep almost doing it. (No pun intended).

Isn't some of it just innocence? When me and my dad feel like being kids again, we pose his action figures in funny positions and create humorous scenes on my parents' coffee table or fireplace.

I'm 30, so it ain't always PG-13, but I would argue that our family's humor is still tasteful. If you are offended, I'm sorry. If you aren't...

...then Spider Man says, "Hey Man, get your camera out of my face. I'm trying to party with a bucket of ladies."

Spider Man was annoyed when U.S. Weekly tried to snap a photo of his recent escapades with two different versions of the Invisible Woman and an unidentified woman (sporting a thunderbird chest tattoo). The super hero's conclusion; "Haters want to hate."

What is This Tree?

2011-02-16T16:45:00.000-08:00

Last year, I took a photograph of a tree that shares roots with Ann Arbor, MI. It is the same tree that I see plastered all over local logos and signs around town. Do any of you locals recognize it yet?

I saw this tree on a city tour of Ann Arbor's greenbelt, last year. I ate from a bag of tasty soy treats that the farmer who owns the tree gave to me. Do you know it yet?

If any of you can accurately identify this tree, maybe I'll buy you a box of late valentine's chocolates. I already know the answer, so cue the Jeopardy music here. Otherwise, if you are just generally interested in the history of Ann Arbor's famous tree, I can give you a hint and a map.

History of Made Up Things HQ TRAILER

2011-02-10T17:36:00.000-08:00

My sister Ashley talked about History of Made Up Things for a long time, but the brat never told me anything about what her pet project short film was going to be about until the screenplay was finished. Now that the film is shot, cut and hitting the festival circuit, I’m glad that I got to see my sister’s film before the masses. The film created major buzz in Little Rock, won an international prize in Ireland, and it's making its way to South Africa.

What has cautious, fading supermodel Alex Montgomery (Eli Jane) gotten herself into when she meets a mysterious appointment? History of Made Up Things traces two characters’ intentions and the tension between them. Initial conflicts lead up to a single moment - as a con-man (Kent Karson) searches for that one iconic photograph that might just go down in history.

the birth of the blog...

2010-06-08T12:32:00.000-07:00

...was mutinous